Ulysses and I were hosing off in the showers after our usual Saturday morning swim at the Princeton Club. From 10 a.m. to noon is their so-called "Family Swim," one of two scheduled times in the week when the lap markers are hauled out of the water and parents with kids of all ages can get in and splash around. Unstructured fun and adventure.

In the shower across from us, a mother and daughter were in conflict.

The girl was behind the shower curtain. The mother was outside, still in her swimsuit. She was reaching in and applying shampoo to the girl. From the pitch of the girl's voice and height (based on where her voice was coming from and the direction the woman was facing and reaching, it seemed the girl must have been about 8. Maybe 9.

"No! No! Auuugh!" the girl was saying. "I don't want that!"

"Hold still. Wait! You already have the shampoo in your hair."

"I don't want it! Auuh!" said the girl. "I don't like it!"

"It's already in. I said, the shampoo is already in your hair! OK. OK! It's done! You're done!" She laughed a little laugh.

The girl said something I couldn't hear.

"Me? I'm not taking a shower," said the mother. "I'm showering at home. I don't like the water here."

Before I could stop myself, I heard myself saying, "If you don't have to, then why does she?"

I was in luck -- the woman, apparently, wasn't angry at me for butting in. Instead, she took the mothers-united-against-unreasonable-children stance. "She  doesn't get a shower at home. She gets a bath. It takes too long. Especially when she's being like this."

Why can't the kid take a shower at home? I thought, but managed to keep quiet and just smile and nod this time. Obviously she's shower-capable, since she's standing under a showerhead here.

If you think the water is not nice to be in, why does your daughter have to stand in it? If it's not good enough for you, why is it good enough for her?

And I also thought: How old does a person have to be for their opinion to count? What magic age marks the difference between capricious brat and reasonable person expressing a simple matter of taste?

How old do you have to be before what you want matters?