From: "Vesna" <duonexus@tds.net>
Date: Wed Sep 7, 2005  11:10 am
Subject: Re: I need some help.....(sorry it's long)

--- In UnschoolingDiscussion@yahoogroups.com, "Kim J. F…"
<kim@t...> wrote:
> I need some advice on what to do with my kiddos. My kids are 8,7,5
and 8
> months. My concern is really with the older ones. We have been
unschooling
> for a long time. Though periodically we have tried using a
curriculum, but
> always stop after like 2 weeks.
> My problem is that though my 8 year old does seek out some
information, they
> really just play most of the time. I feel like I am not doing what
it takes
> to help them gain their education.

I highly recommend that you read Alison McKee's book, Homeschooling
Our Children, Unschooling Ourselves. Here is the Amazon.com link:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0965780627/qid=1126115738/sr=2-1/r\
ef=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-2270557-6623942?v=glance&s=books

It chronicles the personal inner journey of the writer, a professional
educator, through the unschooling/homeschooling childhood and teenage
years of her two children. She shares the story of how she and her
husband worked through their fears about letting go of workbooks and
curriculums and learned to trust and respect their children's natural
intelligence, curiousity, and developing selves.

She shares how events unfolded when she would try to clamp down and
bring in some formal educational experiences -- genrally these would
bring on strain to her relationships with her children and dampen
their enthusiasm about whatever the topic was. She shares
inspirational stories about their adventures in self-directed
learning. She shares how nervewracking, but ultimately rewarding, it
was every time she and her husband would TRULY let go and TRULY let
the children learn at their own paces.

For instance, her son didn't learn the math that is considered
necessary until he was fifteen or so. Then he picked up some
workbooks, sat himself down, and went through the entire 12-year
curriculum in three months. Because he decided it was time for him to
learn, and he had some reasons to be able to pass certain tests. By
the time this came about, his mind was so sharp that it was all a very
smooth process. (So what would have been gained by him being tortured
with that stuff for 12 solid years, instead of just waiting for his
personal right time?)

It also illustrates how VERY different children can be, and the
importance of trusting their rightness. For instance, although the son
(older) learned to read of his own accord at 4, the daughter learned
at 8. This was a nervewracking time for McKee, but she managed to
restrain herself from interfering, and when eventually the daughter
learned, it happened very quickly, and because the daughter wanted to
do it.

Both kids went on to be high achievers in college.

This book, I think, addresses the fears you discuss in your post. The
writer shared all of them and lived to tell the tale! BTW, this is the
book that got me hooked on Holt and unschooling. The ideas are
beautifully described and just feel so right.

Vesna



----------------------------
From: "Kim J. F…" <kim@...>
Date: Fri Sep 2, 2005  2:23 pm
Subject: I need some help.....(sorry it's long)     

I need some advice on what to do with my kiddos. My kids are 8,7,5 and 8
months. My concern is really with the older ones. We have been unschooling
for a long time. Though periodically we have tried using a curriculum, but
always stop after like 2 weeks.
My problem is that though my 8 year old does seek out some information, they
really just play most of the time. I feel like I am not doing what it takes
to help them gain their education. Do any of you have any suggestions for
me as far as encouraging learning without forcing it on them?
On a daily basis when the kids are doing nothing but playing pokemon cards
or pretending in some way, is there a way for me to suggest things to them?
I kind of feel lost and without a plan.
I am not sure if you even understand where my concern is, but I really do
need some advice.
What do you guys do on a daily basis to "encourage" learning? Or do you do
nothing and hope that eventually the kids will come around and want to learn
something?
We do read to the kids regularly (when they will sit for it...and when they
won't...then what?) Other than that, I am sitting around hoping they ask me
questions or want to learn or do something.
If I was to die today and my kids were put in public school, it would really
give homeschoolers a bad name. My 8 year old is very smart, but doesn't
know alot. He can read and write (in chicken scratch) and he can do basic
math like adding and subtracting and a little multiplying and he also does
algebra (as much as he can without knowing how to divide). How do I go
about teaching him how to write and do math and science and stuff? He
writes letters to his penpal, but his letters are very messy and hard to
read and they don't make sense. For example, he will write "hi how are you
doing? I have a lizard and a snake. I am sending you a pokemon card.
Bye." And that is the extent of his letter. I don't want to critisize his
efforts, but I certainly don't want him to write letters to someone that
make no sense.
My 7 year old, does nothing. Has ZERO desire to learn anything or ask
questions or anything. He can read, but not really good, and has basic math
skills like adding and subtracting. He is a real brain child when it comes
to math, but won't do anything with it unless we make him sit down or he is
correcting his brother that made a mistake in something.
My 5 year old, once and a while will pull out a math workbook and do 2 or 3
weeks worth of math at a time, when he feels like it. Other than that,
unless I tell him to sit down so we can do this or that, he won't do
anything.

Anyway, I will stop now cause this is really long, but I wanted to kind of
give you guys a little detail so maybe someone can help address my concerns.
If you have any questions, please ask. I really look forward to your
responses.

Kim F… - Wife to Nolan for 9 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."

So, today I have finished a bottle of vodka, A bottle of red wine, a bottle
of Jack Daniel's, my Prozac, a small box of chocolates and a quart of Rocky
Road. You have no idea how good I feel."